07 April 2010

Why This Mormon Girl is Single...

My cousin Josie, wrote a blog post by this title a while ago and I LOVED it! So I thought I'd write my own! Background: Apparently there was a man who had taken a personal ad out but instead of filling it with embellished crap he listed his quirks! So here's mine...it's really long!

Malinda's Ad...
...I suffer from a slight case of anxiety so my sleeping habits are very irregular!
...I could live off of popcorn, green beans, and Soda!
...I HATE talking on the phone (Text me, email me...but a phone conversation? I blame this on 1-The mission and always having to answer for 18 months and 2-Working in customer service...after having so many people yell at me on the phone, I came to realize that it's not worth it)!
...I bite my nails!
...I have funny toes ans small feet so I avoid wearing flip flops or other open toed shoes!
...I cannot walk into a bookstore without buying something!
...I cannot pop any ones back because I think the sound is gross and makes me gag!
...I have terrible hand writing, yet I'm very glad it doesn't look all sweet and girly (note: My Aunt Marylynn has the coolest hand writing and till the day I die I will wish that mine looked like hers)!
...I'm right, even when I'm wrong. I will always find some point in which I am right!
...I'm not good at meeting new people. (I've been told I have an "observation period" in which I decide if I like you or not)!
...I love shopping! And have little self control when I enter a store!
...In my entire life, I have never really studied for anything, and avoid classes that would really challenge me because I have this intense fear that I might actually fail at it!
...I love planning thing but don't like the actual doing!
...I love making lists!
...I'm an obsessive compulsive packer and will usually pack and repack a suitcase two or three times. And I always feel like I've left something important!
...I'm obsessed with TV and movies!
...I hate "dating" (I feel it's full of drama and fakeness)!
...I will always tell you the truth. I figure I like you to much or not enough to lie to you! (even if it might hurt your feelings...though that is never my goal)!
...I like to argue (not for the sake of fighting but for the sake of defending different ideas and using your brain)!
...I hate dumb people and those who act dumb!
...I'm a conservative republican (even though I feel the republican party betrayed me in the last election. Which was kind of a joke and doomed to fail. Yet that being said I'm still a loyal...conservative)!
...I'm a feminist, but prefer to wear bras instead of burning them...and I expect men to open my car door, take out the trash, and kill spiders and other creepy things for me!
...I avoid confrontation yet believe that's the only way to really resolve anything!
...I love jackets, gloves (fingerless ones) and scarves yet I hate the snow!
...I love Mexican food but cannot stand spicy/hot food!
...I cannot study at a desk (I always study on my floor surrounded by my books and papers!
...I love pens and usually have two or three with me all the time!
...I love to tan but the fear of skin cancer usually keeps me indoors!
...I'm the most stubborn person I have ever met!
...I'm sarcastic and have a dry sense of humor!
...I cannot stand when a person leaves the hand towel on the bathroom counter (leave toothpaste/brushes, combs, hair products, curling irons all over the counter for all I care but put the freaking hand towel back)!
...I don't say anything behind your back that I wouldn't say to your face!
...I love asking/being asked random questions (What kind of candy describes your personality? Who would play at your funeral alive or dead? What Disney character represents you?)!
...I relate almost everyone I meet to characters in books, movies and TV shows!
...I could care less what people think of me (Yet I love compliments)!
...I love the sun and find jumping on the trampoline in the rain very cathartic!
...Chocolate is my go to comfort food!
...I love gifts but think there should be some significance behind them!
...I secretly hope that when I wake up each morning I will find that elves came in while I was asleep and cleaned, painted, and organized my room for me)!
...I am a firm believer in the mid-night snack, but only if there is someone there to enjoy it with!
...I use colored chalk when I teach at church because it just makes me happy!
...When I get bored at church I write my own talks/lessons on the subject being taught!
...I cannot stand people who claim that Mo Tab is the favorite band or the Book of Mormon/Bible is their favorite book. (note: If these people are over 50 it is alright, otherwise I will look at you like you are lying and pretty much write you off as being a possible friend)!
...I categorize people based on their shoes!
...I believe that Joss Whedon is a genius and will watch anything that his name is attached to with a good chance that I will love it for the mere fact that there will be a weird mutant guy at the end saying errr garr!
...I'm not a huge fan of anime but believe that Miyazaki's films are among the most beautiful movies ever made! (note: I think that all the people who write off anime because they watched Pokemon are idiots)!
...There are a lot more but that is all I can think of now! And after writing all that, I can totally see why I'm still single...that and the fact that I've never met Nathan Fillion in real life!

1 comment:

preston and melanie said...

I am laughing so hard...{not too loud though, the boys are sleeping, thank goodness} Everything I read, I was like yeah, that's true... Hilarious ! I am tempted to put this on an ad at eharmony.com!!! I love it!! Too funny and totally true... But I have never understood why you were single, but now after you have explained that you have not met the man mentioned above it makes sense;)!!